As I was sitting with my husband and son last night eating dinner and talking, all I could think about is the massive improvements that have been made in the last year for us. I remember when Ricky and I started dating, I remember what it was like to pull a conversation out of him. Now, we actually sit down to dinner together and there is no struggle, it just comes, and I just love that part of my life so much. After Ty was born the struggle we went through was the toughest I have ever been through before. Now it just feels like that never happened, though I know it did.
If you all know me well you know I can't have thoughts like this without questioning them, so here is where my pondering comes in. Is it just because I am pregnant that I feel so great about where we are, and I am just being overly sensitive and emotional? Will we go through the same thing we went through when Ty was born once the two girls get here? I mean I am sure we will go through a huge change, but will it be as horrible as it was for the 6-8 months like it was the last time?
I want these girls more than anything, please don't confuse that, but I am so nervous about how it will affect the family as it exsists today. I don't want Ricky and I to hate each other again. I don't want Ty to be left out. I don't want to go so far into depression again that it takes me more than a year to realize I am totally out of balance. I am so nervous. I know I should just relax, but it is so much easier to say to do it, then to do it. I am out of my comfort zone, I just want to plan for every little thing that could go wrong and fix it before it does, but you just can't plan around kids and the changes that come with them. Anyone that has them likely knows that whenever you plan something, they show you they have different plans.
I know, I worry about the little crap too much. But if you wanted to know my ponders, there it is for you! I am doing my very best to keep my thoughts all in the positive, but realisam will always set in, and I just want to be prepared :)
1 comment:
You know what I've actually learned about going from husband & wife to parents, and the entire dynamic of family? The most important thing to do is listen, listen, listen. It's so natural to think you're right or your way is best. But, if you listen really hard and thoughtfully, you'll realize your husband has a completely different view, style and approach to parenting. And no matter how much it differs from what you would do, it is so absolutely necessary to allow him to parent in his way, because ultimately children need BOTH styles, approaches and parents all through life, and they will eventually appreciate both. Of course also listening to your children is just as important. They may only be toddlers, but they have a voice, and in some cases, a huge one, that totally deserves to always be heard. I think that's what I've learned. Listening goes a long way.
I think you and Ricky went through your rough time and learned exactly what you needed to in order to get through what lies ahead. I think you'll do great!
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